The 3 months before I got married were my best ever months in business. I got married in whirlwind after I had opened up to love in a way I never had before. 6 weeks after my 28th birthday and just a year after I had experienced my spiritual revelation (profound meditative experience, struck to my knees in my living room with an undeniable clairaudient message from the Universe about my life purpose etc etc.) I had a thriving business as a spiritual life coach, had married my dream man (I was never the 'marrying' kind - so that part was a nice unexpected bonus!) was living in a lovely home with my new blended family (his daughter and my dogs) and all was well with life.
Until I upper limited like a muthafucker.
My husband started a new job right after we got married so we didn't have a honeymoon right away. I did book myself a few days "off" in my iCal though, as I thought I might like to not have to dive right back into work after getting married. A few days to soak it all in, y'know.
Those few days came and went. The fog did not lift. Getting married had emotionally blindsided me in a way I was not expecting and I hit my upper limit hard. What I experienced was a terrifying mix of inner panic and outer paralysis. I no longer had the words to express my message, so I couldn't talk to my audience any more. I drew a blank whenever I tried to pull together a marketing plan for my business. My inspiration well ran dry and I couldn't so much as scrape a blog post or even a Facebook post, let alone a newsletter or anything more substantial together.
My business came to a screeching halt - it was so young that I didn't have any passive income streams set up. So I took on a bridge job to keep my mind, body and bank balance ticking over. I had no idea what was happening to me. My only option was to surrender just as hard as I had upper limited. So I officially took a few months "off" from my business. Or rather a few months off from panicking about not knowing what the hell to do in my business.
In that stillness, in that mental, emotional and spiritual space, I learned a whole new way to love. I'd had a crash course in active love over the last 12 months and now I was getting the slow 'n' low initiation into gentle, surrendered love.
I released judgment and fear and in time allowed myself to look at the places in myself - and my business as an outpicturing of what was happening inside of me - that I had glossed over, missed out and shied away from.
In that time and space I learned how to lean into love like never before.
True love requires trust and faith. True love does not require conditions or benchmarks. True love requires gentleness and generosity of the soul. True love does not require a crack of the whip and a hard and fast plan. True love requires openness to flow and connection. It does not require you to be anything other than who you already are.
And in this time and space I allowed in one of the most incredible creative projects of my life: #HigherSelfie. (It started as the first and only spirituality un-conference sponsored by lululemon athletica and grew into a publishing deal with Hay House, and online curated platform, workshops, online courses, speaking spots at Hay House's Ignite and the MBS Wellbeing Festival and on and on.)
And after #HigherSelfie and all its moving parts reached a crescendo earlier this year I felt the familiar fog of confusion. But this time I knew what to do. Instead of running scared, I leaned into love.
So my advice to you if you have stagnated at a certain level in your life - even if it's a pretty awesome level as far as the world is concerned - here's what to do...
Where you are afraid: lean into love.
Where it feels uncomfortable: lean into love.
Where your heart is closed: lean into love.
Where you cannot see more for yourself: lean into love.
The parts of yourself that you hide away and the places where you know you are playing small: lean into love.
The phrase "playing small" has, in the world of self development, become an overused, clichéd and therefore a slimy and triggering (in a kind of gross rather than a helpful way). But for me it is simply a quicker, and yes, less elegant way of interpreting this teaching from A Course in Miracles:
"It is essential that you accept the fact, and accept it gladly, that there is no form of littleness that can ever content you. You are free to try as many as you wish, but all you will be doing is to delay your homecoming. For you will be content only in magnitude, which is your home."
You will be content only in magnitude. Is that not why you are questioning, seeking, working, discovering? Because you have seen and felt glimmers of magnitude in your life? The flashes of genius and the all encompassing upswell of love that consumes you when you have experienced a miracle?
That place is your home. And all you need do to find your way back is lean into love.
My complementary video training - The Three Keys to Unlock Your Limitless Life - goes in depth on leaning into love and the other two keys to help you unlock your limitless life of magnitude. Go here to register and receive your link to watch xo